Hey! I’m Vernita G. An entrepreneur, trainer, lover of family & unshakable optimist dedicated to enriching relationships and shining a positive light on marriages.
A born and raised NYC girl with nothing more than passion, city smarts, rooted values, and colorful dreams, I’m proud to have touched many marriages and shared some inspiration.
After the “I Do’s” Game Show is the culmination of many years of learning, work, and involvements. Through this show I create an experience for the audience that allows them to laugh at the reality, learn from the responses of the couples, and be energized by the competition. The audience leaves with the notion that while healthy marriages take work, they can still be lively, fun, and very funny.
One of the things I’m often asked is
“How on earth did you get the idea
to create this game show?”
I can remember as a young teenager having a fight with a girl that I considered my best friend. What hurt me more than the blows we threw at each other was the realization that she really wasn’t my best friend. While looking for consolation from my father, I learned that he was not so concerned about the physical pain that I might have endured. He took that opportunity to share one of his many life lessons that has stuck with me until this day. He said that I should consider myself very lucky if I were to get through this life with five friends. He stuck his big hand right in front of my face for emphasis. He passionately explained that a friend is a powerful label that is very overused and I need to consider people “associates” for many years before they can be elevated to the “friend” status. How did this lesson become the foundation for the game show? It showed me that I should place an extremely high value on RELATIONSHIPS and more specifically on the marriage relationship since it’s one that we freely choose and gets twisted together tighter than any other relationship. I also grew increasingly passionate about a multitude of seemingly unconnected things: sewing, music, spirituality, creativity, presenting, organizing, psychology, philanthropy, and traveling, just to name a few.
After several, ok, a whole lot of jobs where my tenure was never more than a year, I took a job at a tiny non-profit. The entire organization employed me, the new three-quarter time employment counselor and the director. The total agency budget was $75,000 per year. It was here during my 20.5-year where I realized that my unusual combination of interests and skills was a strength, not a liability. Over the years I was the program director for five different family strengthen focused programs and for the final ten months I was the CFO of the 3-million-dollar agency budget. It was the set up for the step up. I was honing all of my interests by creating, marketing, and executing programs and events, connecting with people who poured into me, and managing a growing staff of all sorts of personalities. In the end I was up close and personal with the business details through the finances. It was the set up for the step up that allowed me to step out. I was ready to use both of my feet to step into my purpose and I triumphantly walked out of a 20.5-year relationship that didn’t owe me a thing.
Now, why a game show? If my time at the non-profit showed me anything, it made me know for sure for sure that at the end of the day, it’s a relationship that means the most to people. No matter the struggles of the people that I worked with, the one thing each of them held onto was a relationship with a loved one. It was usually their drive to do better or push through the situations. I also learned that perception is a force that can unknowingly move people in a direction that can shape their lives. Many times it was the overriding belief or perception that “better is unattainable” that paralized people into not striving for more or better. This is also true of how successful marriages are portrayed in the media. The good marriages couple two ultra successful mates and the marriages that face challenges are quickly dissolved. The relationships of the rich and famous are constantly highlighted in the media where the focus is on the turmoil in the separation. Without the positive given equal time in the spotlight, this can easily give us the false impression that marriages are easily disposable, and challenges mean a split is the answer. Would I be able to use the same outlets to give a more hopeful outlook to display the fun in marriage and value in marriage featuring everyday people? Of course I can! When couples learn healthy ways to resolve conflict and strive to enrich their relationship and strengthen their family, we all win. They not only affect their family, the community benefits because they are watching and learning. That couple is also giving their children a healthier foundation. Those children are part of the future that will one day care for us. Those healthy families build healthy communities where crime is lowered, employment and education opportunities are utilized, and drugs and alcohol abuse is lowered. Strong communities make strong cities, that make strong states, and on and on. Changing the possibilities for families for generations.
How do you change perception
while people are laughing and
having a good time?
I was a “let’s just split” believer and way back in the day it was quite easy to walk away from my first marriage. Honestly, I would have probably brought that same belief into my second marriage except for that tiny non-profit job that I started one year after we got married that exposed me to healthy relationship training and other experiences. The set up for the step up. Someone once told me that you teach what you need to learn. So, while I thought I was being a rescuer to my community, I was really pouring into my own life, marriage, and family. The bonus was my new husband was very willing to take the journey with me. We were going to be intentional about putting in the work to make the relationship successful. We quickly discovered that it was a daily commitment that meant some nights were long, discussions got dissected, and compromise became the norm. At the end of the day we absolutely needed to find the funny and the fun; it became the glue.
To share the funny, today there is After the “I Do’s” Game Show. Couples who are married any number of years, answer cheeky questions in hopes of making a match to win a grand prize. Part of the prize package will always be a marriage enrichment retreat that can enhance the couples marriage for years to come. The contestants are everyday people that answer questions that challenge their memory and make us all laugh. The show is hosted by a clean comedian that will get the couples to give us a peek, well maybe more than a peek into the lives of the contestants. I’ve used every skill, every experience, and every connection to pull all of my passions into a game show that will positively impact our communities and highlight possibility and benefits of healthy relationships. Spotlighting couples that don’t marry for love but really marry for true friendship.
Which brings me to you.
I am here to serve. After the “I Do’s” Game Show is built on a bedrock of love, a passion for what’s possible, and a commitment to be an unstoppable force to create healthy communities.
The brand will be connected to businesses that provide goods and services to adults, married and single, with the objective of a positive impact. Check out the team member opportunities on the website at www.aftertheidosshow.com. Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. I’m thrilled we have connected and look forward to the opportunity to team up and make a powerful impact to make our community better,